Give it all!

by Cassie Wampler

To My God, I give
it all.
When the sun is up
When
the rain may fall.

To thee, I pray at night
it's true
And sincerely hope
You do to

When in need, I'll lend
A hand and
When in despair don't
Cry, don't fret.
It still gets better yet.

For God is there, so don't
Cry
Because in Him I know I'll
Never die.

The times get weary, the
Tears may fall
But to your God you
Give it all.

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To Cassie, on your 12th Birthday or A Mother's Blessing

Once upon a time, a young girl met a young boy and fell in love.  As the years passed, they got married and wanted to start a family.  As they waited and waited and waited and waited on this family, the girl prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed for the child that she would eventually have.  She prayed that her child would be smart, beautiful, healthy, love life, love God (well, when you're praying for 10 years, you end up asking for pretty much everything).  In God's timing, the couple found out they were going to have a child.  Panic set in when the girl found out she was going to have a baby girl.  You see, she always knew she was going to have boys.  For some reason, raising a girl seemed terrifying.  What if she was a girly girl?  What about those awful teenage years?  What if she grew to hate her mother?  But eventually, the overwhelming joy of the baby growing inside, overcame the panic of raising a daughter.

On August 13, 1998 at 11:48pm, you were born.  You were beautiful!  Your dad and I were in awe!  I can't put into words the mixture of joy, awe and pure panic that we were feeling when we took you home.  God has had His hand on you since you took your first breath.  He has guided your dad and I every single moment since He gave you to us.  He gave us patience during the colic, mercy when we almost lost you, forgiveness when we made mistakes, wisdom to deal with your struggles, compassion for your hurts and joy as we have watched you grow and learn.

Oh Cassie, you are JOY.  You are LOVE.  You are COMPASSION.  You are WISE beyond your years.  I look at you and see the person I want to be! 

My blessing for you is that God continue his mighty work in you.  That you will continuously seek His will. That everyone will look at you and be blinded by God's love shining through you.  I pray that you will find your passion in life and the courage to pursue it.  I pray that no matter where you go or what you do, that you never forget your biggest champions are at home rooting for you every step of the way. I pray that when you mess up or get lost, you will always find your way back home. 

Cassie, be strong and courageous.  Remember no matter where you go, do not be terrified; remember no matter your frustrations, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

I love you, Cassafras.  Have a wonderful birthday!

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Am I a Proverbs 31 Woman?

I don't know about you but quite frankly, I am intimidated by this Proverbs 31 woman.  So much so that I even asked my husband not to preach on it today.  I mean, get real!  I love the fact that it starts off by saying she is more precious than jewels.  I do love sparkly jewelry!

But then it all falls apart from there.  So here is a description of this "ideal" woman and this is how I fall short.

1. She rewards her husband with good, not evil all the days of her life.  I admit there are days that I give my husband a hard time but at least half of the time he deserves it.
2. She is like a merchant ship bringing her food from far away.  I hate going to the grocery store right down the street.  I can't imagine being like a ship to bring it from far away even though sometimes I feel like I need a boat to carry all of those groceries in.
3. She rises while it is still night and provides food for her servants.  My poor children think a hot breakfast is a toaster strudel.
4. She plants a vineyard with her earnings.  I can't keep any plants alive, mostly because they need water.
5. She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all in her household are doubly clothed.  Not just clothed once but doubly.  If I could go one week without a frantic search for underwear or socks, I would feel like I've accomplished something.
6. She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue.  I'm not sure anything needs to be said here and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't laugh too loudly.  If sarcasm were wisdom, I would have it in aces. 
7. Her sons rise up and call her blessed.  My sons constantly rise up but it's only to clobber each other.  When the kids were babies I would pray for so many things for them, their adult years, spouses, fulfilling God's calling.  Now, there are days that I pray that I make it through the day without killing them or without them killing each other.  I believe God honors those prayers too. 

So I was talking to my in-house theological scholar about this passage.  He said "Beth, you need to start at the beginning of the chapter to understand what they mean in that passage."  So I start reading the beginning of the chapter. 

The words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him:

Did you catch it? That's the problem with this whole passage.  Some son's mother was telling him who the ideal woman was.  This is a mother who says this is the only woman that is good enough for my son and she doesn't exist!  Poor guy, I can see a lot of psychological issues there.

Most commentaries say that the point of this passage is in verse 30 which says "but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised".  I don't know about you but I could do without the previous 20 verses of guilt over what I will never be and go right to what will make me a blessed woman. Maybe I just spent too much time down in a wet moldy basement today.

I don't want anyone to take offense at my lightheartedness of Proverbs 31.  I do understand what the scripture is telling me, there are just some days when I crawl into bed and have to thank God I made it through the day.  I do worry about my children and if we are providing them with a nurturing, God-fearing upbringing.  I do constantly pray for my husband and the tremendous calling God has on his life and strive with every ounce of my being to be the kind of wife that he needs.  I think, as women and mothers, society has put a lot of pressure on us.  How often have I said that I just can't do it all?  Then I have to remember.  God doesn't expect me to do it all.  Paul doesn't expect me to do it all.  (My kids probably do expect me to do it all.  Adam did draw my picture today as a superhero.)  I just need to be a woman that fears God.  My foundation needs to be on solid ground so that everything else that I pile on top is fixed and firm.  So, I guess I don't have to be everything that the Proverbs 31 woman is and, you know, I'm okay with that.

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I Saw God!

 "Aren't two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father's consent.  But even the hairs of your head have all been counted.  Don't be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows."  Matthew 10:29-31

It was a lesson I learned fairly early into my parenting.  My control was merely an illusion.  It was a hard lesson to learn because I really like control.  When Cassie was 16 months old, she came down with bacterial meningitis.   Paul and I stood by that hospital bed when the infectious disease doctor told me I didn't need to worry about complications or side effects, I just needed to be concerned about her surviving the next 24 hours.  The realization at that moment, that there was absolutely nothing I could do to save my child, quite literally tore me apart.  She survived that night and we took her home 9 days later.  That's when my problems started.  I would have moments of sheer panic.  How could I protect my children?  How could I protect myself? Just the mere thought of revisiting that pain would send me into a panic.  How could I survive something like that?  I felt like I was walking around just waiting for the next disaster.  After much prayer, and I mean MUCH prayer, I finally realized that my survival as a sane individual would solely be based on faith.  That quite possibly, the Big G God of the Universe might just be big enough to take care of things most precious to me.  Did I have enough faith to entrust those things to Him?  My husband told me in the hospital that night as we were looking at our daughter, that everything would be OK.  No matter how things turned out, we would make it.  That's the kind of faith that I needed to put into practice.

I've seen a lot of destruction this week.  It started Sunday morning, with flash flooding around the church.  It continued on Sunday evening when the Cumberland decided to rush over its banks.  Things happened so quickly and people were forced to leave so much behind in such a short period of time. 

Cassie was sitting on the couch with me on Thursday and said "Mom, we heard the coolest poem today in Guidance.  Have you ever heard the footprints poem?"  I thought, of course I've heard that poem. I've seen it so much it doesn't really affect me much anymore, I guess.  But Cassie looked at me and said "Mom, it's so cool because at the beginning there are two sets of footprints when God is walking with you and at the end only one set when he's carrying you.  You get it, mom?  He's carrying you when you can't walk anymore." 

I've seen so many people this week in various stages of distress.  Some have lost possessions, some have lost houses.  Even though it doesn't feel like there is much that they have control over, GOD IS IN CONTROL!  He has not left you behind.  He is not sitting on a royal throne light years away. 

I took Cassie with me to deliver sack lunches today and we saw God.  We saw God delivering free pizzas and handing out hot dogs.  We saw God in all of the strangers that were going house to house to help tear out the mess so victims could work on rebuilding.  We saw God in the clothes and the shop vacs and the hand sanitizer and the clean towels and the bottles of water that were being distributed.  We saw God in that friend that offered her shoulder to cry on.  We saw God.  And when you couldn't walk anymore, We saw God carrying you!

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I'm loving surprises!

I've always loved surprises!  When I was little, I used to love it when my parents would surprise us by stopping at Dairy Queen on the way home from Sunday night church.  On a family vacation when I was a teenager, we stopped at a little town called Hilton Head.  That little surprise started a love affair with the South Carolina coast that has lasted to this day.  I will qualify that I like "good" surprises.  Not such a fan of "bad" surprises.  Like the cop who just happens to pull out behind me while I'm driving my car with expired tags or the surprise of the toilet stopping up right after you flush.  But those are blogs for another day and yes, they both have interesting stories behind them.

Paul walked around the house and called me.  "Beth, have you walked around to the side of the house and seen what's there?"  Well, I have several times because I planted two hydrangea bushes there last year and I've been checking to make sure they're coming back. I've had a really hard time with hydrangea bushes.  Apparently, they need water to survive!  But while I was focusing on my hydrangea bushes, I didn't see what was happening right around the corner.   Aren't they beautiful?  I think my mom planted them sometime.  She's great about doing stuff like that. 

That same day Paul and I decided to drop everything and surprise the kids by taking them on a weekend trip.  We walked through a cave that was very far under the ground.  They showed us the tunnel that the man and his wife had to crawl through to reach the cavern.  In the cavern, they found a beautiful waterfall. Can you imagine what it must have been like crawling and walking through that cave with only lamplight and hearing the rush of water and coming up on this.  It must have been an amazing sight (minus the purple lights, of course.)

One night, a group of men were on a boat in the middle of the water.  It was late and the winds start blowing.  In the midst of their fear, Jesus came.

One day, two sisters were mourning for their brother.  In the midst of their sorrow, Jesus came.

One morning, a woman walked up to a tomb to find it empty.  In the midst of her confusion and grief, Jesus came.

The surprise isn't that Jesus was there but how He chose to work.  He walked on water, he raised the dead, he transcends death.  As Christians, we sometimes get caught up in the situation and forget the anticipation of what God can do.  We tend to put our limitations on God.  Like the men in the boat who would have been happy enough to make it across safely, we don't think creatively enough.  And even when we have enough faith, like Martha, (I wish I didn't relate to her so much) who was upset that Jesus didn't get there early enough to heal her brother, we don't think big enough.  Like Mary, so lost in her grief, wanting to minister to her friend even in his death, we don't think joyfully enough. 

In your fear, he will surprise you!  In your mourning, he will surprise you!  In your confusion and sorrow, he will surprise you!  Remember, the surprise isn't that he's there with you but How He Chooses to Answer!

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WIW I'm Enjoying My Inheritance

I was waiting on Zac at the allergist feeling a little "mom guilt" when I started thinking about inheritance. You know, Zac wouldn't be at the allergist if it wasn't for me. It's obvious who Zac inherited his allergies from because seldom do you ever see my husband with red, itchy eyes and a runny nose. Before Paul and I had children we used to talk about what they would be like and what they would inherit from us. Paul has bad eyesight and I have a partial hearing loss. We were just hoping that between the two of us God would give us a child with my eyesight and Paul's hearing. So far, so good.

I lost my Daddy two years ago. It was completely unexpected and none of us had a clue we would be losing him that day. As part of my mourning, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the legacy that he left behind. What were those things that I inherited from my Daddy and what characteristics do I see passed down to my children. How do I help them remember him and pass that connection on to them? I tell them whenever they do something that reminds of him. Zac has his dry wit and that brain that loves math and science. Cassie has his gorgeous blue eyes, his athletic ability and his ease around people. Cassie and Adam both have his joy of life. Adam wakes up in the morning raring to go at 100 miles/hour. They've all inherited, bless their hearts, that incredible sarcasm, that we have to work hard not to let out except around family. Zac has daddy's feet.

As a child of God, I have an awesome inheritance. The apostle Paul tells the Ephesians that "this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unfathomable riches of Christ". Do you know what unfathomable means? It is "impossible to measure". Paul also says that the manifold wisdom of God is to be made known through the church to the rulers and the authorities in the heavenly places. My husband says that we are given wisdom which the angels wouldn't comprehend and the demons couldn't fathom. Two verses down it says that through Jesus Christ we have boldness and confident access through faith in Him. I have trouble telling a child she can't cheer without a bow but I can approach the throne of grace with boldness. Why in the world should I ever doubt or fear when I have access to the God of the universe? (Ouch) In one chapter in the Bible, I can find all of this:

• I am blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Eph 1:3)
• I am holy, blameless and covered with God's love (Eph 1:4)
• My sins are taken away and I am forgiven (Eph 1:7)

It gives me chill bumps just to think about it. Because of my salvation, I have been adopted into God's family and I have gained access to eternity and to God himself. That's quite an inheritance. Just like I remind my kids of how they remind me of their Papaw, I need to embrace those things given to me by my Heavenly Father. I need to quit living in chains. I need to embrace His joy! I need to be bold! I need to be confident! I'm forgiven, the battle has been fought and He has won! WooHoo! (That's my Nazarene background coming through).

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While I'm Waiting....

I was sitting in the pick-up line at school the other day waiting for my kids having a conversation with God. I admit that alot of my conversations with God are in my car. Apparently cars are very conducive to God conversations. Ask anyone in my Sunday School class. Alot of their daily worship takes place there. My conversation this particular day was probably a little more one-sided than it should have been. My family and I have been having a particularly difficult time for awhile, extremely difficult since the first of the year. And through all of this, I haven't been angry at God, plenty angry at people, but not God. My question through all of this and on this particalur day was "what is the end result, what am I learning from this, what am I going to be able to share from this?" I firmly believe that God can take anything we have been dealt and turn it into a triumph. As my husband says, God takes our messes and turns them into testimony. So in my typical impatience, I want to know where all of this has been taking us. It seems to me that it would be easier to navigate these trials if we know where things are heading. But since I'm evidently not God nor does he seek my counsel, this is not how things work in this life.

So, apparently God thought he had heard this all before, and needed to get my attention. I was listening to a Christian radio station at the time but wasn't really paying attention. For some reason, a song caught my attention that I had never heard. (I admit it's probably been around awhile but I had been divulging in a lot of talk radio and hadn't listened in awhile.) It's titled While I'm Waiting by John Waller. I talk to my children differently. I can talk to my daughter, who's 11, in a more adult manner, using conceptual ideas, sarcasm, giving her a project without having to tell her all of the little tasks that need to be completed. I talk to my 5-year-old in very simple, very clear terms, only giving him 1 or 2 directions at a time. This is how God was talking to me at this moment through this song. The song says:

I'm waiting on You, Lord and I am hopeful (always)

I'm waiting on You, Lord, though it is painful (absolutely)

but patiently I will wait.

I'm waiting on You, Lord and I am peaceful (Ouch)

I'm waiting on you Lord though it's not easy (Amen)

But faithfully, I will wait

The parenthetical statements are mine if you hadn't guessed. John Waller said that he wrote this song when he was going through a difficult time. He said the important thing to remember while we're waiting on God is to not just wait but to actively wait. Serve, worship and be faithful with what you have, where you are.."even while you wait." Yet again God is telling me, "Beth, have patience, I'm fulfilling my purpose. Just wait, you'll see." So I've decided to wait patiently(I'll try very hard), wait peacefully (I promise not to grit my teeth), wait hopefully (this is not so hard), wait faithfully (no doubts!). And while I'm waiting, I'm going to share my journey with anyone who will listen.

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